You Are Not Too Much

You are not too much. You never were. You are simply the kind of person who brings a soul to the surface.

- Victoria Erickson

Let me tell you a little about how I love.

I want those around me to feel safe.
Like they can be their true self.
Like they don’t have to perform.
I want them to feel heard. seen. valued.

I try to remember the little things they tell me and carry them quietly in my heart.

I want their nervous system to relax—like their soul can finally exhale.

Why?

Because I didn’t have that for a long time.
And I know how important it is to feel safe.

Even if I don’t know you well, I want you to know:
I’m rooting for you.

But as lovely as that sounds…
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

For a long time, I felt like I was too much.
Too sensitive. Too intense. Too emotional.
I think a lot of trauma survivors feel that way.

So I kept my thoughts and feelings to myself.

Because honestly?
It’s vulnerable to approach people with softness.
People don’t always trust kindness.
It’s like they’re bracing for whatever manipulation might come next.

But I’ve come to understand this about myself:
I don’t do surface well and that’s perfectly ok.
I’d rather be silent than pretend.

I’ve lived through too much to pretend.

Now, I don’t see myself as “too much.”
I see myself as a slow burn.
The kind of connection that deepens over time.

I’ve stopped trying to be who the world needs me to be. Instead, I’m practicing being who I already am.

And it’s okay if we don’t connect.
I’m not for everyone—but I am for myself.

How strange to realize in midlife that there is nothing wrong with me. I’m just the right amount of intensity for the people who matter.

If you’ve ever felt this way, just know—you’re not too much either. You’re just right.

And someone else’s discomfort isn’t yours to carry. So don’t dim your light to make them feel stronger.

Writing Prompt:

Where do you feel like you are too much in your life? Who might you become if you let that go and allowed yourself to be fully who you are?