Vulnerability Hangover

Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable. It means to show up and be seen. To ask for what you need. To talk about how you’re feeling. To have the hard conversations.

- Brene Brown

Have you ever heard of a vulnerability hangover?

Brené Brown, whose work I adore, talks about the intense feelings that follow moments of vulnerability.

The sadness. The shame. The self-doubt that comes after showing others the soft parts of yourself.

Maybe you feel a hot flush of shame rush across your face. Maybe you want to crawl into a hole and hide.

I know this feeling well.
It’s haunted me for most of my life.

So many things make me feel vulnerable:

Talking to my therapist about the past.

The realization that I can’t remember my father ever telling me he loved me.

Writing at Salt and Pen—especially the line directly above.

Submitting my poetry and personal essays for publication.

Using my voice, even when it says things others might not want to hear.

Feeling myself changing and wondering what it means and where it will lead me.

Then suddenly, a wave rolls in saying:

“No one cares what you have to say.”

“You’re too much. Too emotional.”

Or my favorite:

“Who do you think you are to try to be happy? Haven’t you learned by now—that’s not for you?”

But now I recognize that voice. It’s just a scared little girl trying to reject herself before the world can.

And instead of shutting her down, I hold her. I tell her it’s okay to rest. To go quiet. To love yourself even when it’s hard.

Because eventually, the wave passes.

And when it does, we show back up.
We dare greatly.
We shine again.

Not because it’s easy.
But because it’s who we are.

Writing Prompt:

What is making you feel vulnerable these days and how can you love yourself through the discomfort.